“I Don’t Wanna Do Anything!

It’s been one of those strange weeks of that mixed emotion of I wanna do everything, but then when I start doing it I realise how much energy and time it is going to take and all of a sudden my brain shuts down and can’t seem to focus on everything that needs to be done… leaving me at a standstill and a loss on what I should do. So, like anyone else I go back to bed and lay there looking at the ceiling until the motivation comes back… or I am summoned by someone!

I know the only way to get over this is to power through but, I don’t know for some reason it seems so much harder at the moment! I have a long list of unfinished works, staring at me, laughing as my brain keeps coming up with new fun ideas and there’s me sitting in the corner rocking back and forth going “I don’t wanna do anything anymore! I give up… I’m just going to sleep!”

I’m not gonna lie thinking about everything I need to do all I want to do is cry!

Me every morning, curling up tighter allowing myself to wallow knowing it’s going to be another incredibly long day of not being able to get everything I need and want done!

But, you know my days get better when I’m reminded that I’m still not doing enough! You know getting up at 6am… listening to all my online pre-recorded lectures and then reading any case study needed for the live webinar and then planning all the other shit I need to do… also the housework I do on a daily basis and don’t get thanked for, but when someone else does it they point it out saying: “I did your job.” No, you did something I do out of courtesy not to be rubbed in my face when I don’t. But, then I’m reminded that even though I do uni, blog and my own personal creative projects, as well as some everyday household chores 6 out of 7 days a week I’m not doing enough!

Me after being told I could do more when all I do is try my best.

So, I’m drowning and with the never ending feeling of not wanting to do anything… but, it’s nice to be reminded all the time that we all have to do things we don’t want to do!

Everyone told me the perks of staying at home during this time, but I don’t know if I’m agreeing with them at the moment. I believe I’ve heard the phrases: I know you have uni work but… are you doing uni work… did you not hear the doorbell? And so many more! They always say that they want me to do my best and get good grades, but you spend more than 5 days, 9 – 5 to do uni work you spending too much time doing uni work and not enough time cleaning or doing house work… but we understand! Do you?

But, you know you have to do things you don’t want to do and power through… so I’m just gonna have to figure it out and find another time to drown and wallow, because there isn’t enough hours in a day…

Just the sad truth… nothing I do will ever be enough!

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