Drowning…

She stood on the edge not sure what to do and how to deal with everything. Staring out into the abyss around her unsure of what she is going to do, how she is meant to feel and everything she is meant to be with everything going on around her…

People around her ask too much, expect too much and think too much of her and she is left there suspended in all their expectations and never being able to meet them. Then she’s told she’s no good and can’t do anything right, resulting in an argument and tension in the house… she’s left feeling hollow, angry and alone. A couple hours later they come in and act all nice and sweet like they didn’t just make her feel worthless.

She notices that they don’t realise what there words are doing to her. Their treatment of her changes so rapidly from sweet to cruel so quickly she’s left with whiplash. It’s easy to take their stress and frustration out on her, because she has always been there for them to do so. She knows that they love her… but the truth is most days it doesn’t feel that way.

She’s drowning and there is nothing for her to do. Having faith has done nothing for her… having faith has left her with no hope or patience. The hope of it getting better is non existence, if it hadn’t now why will it later? Nothing she has done has helped to improve anything in her life… nothing brings her joy anymore and she just can’t do it, she just can’t take the pain.

You can’t save someone who doesn’t want saving, her friends have tried but it’s a two-way street they can’t do everything for her… they wish they could, but they can’t. For the burden is not hers to bare it alone, but she does. She doesn’t have to face the darkness alone, because they are there by her side or not that far waving a torch trying to guide her to the light… to the surface so she doesn’t have to drown anymore. They will be by her side holding her when she can’t tread water any longer, keeping her afloat and helping her work through her problems till she can float on her own again.

She just has to remain hopeful… even when she can’t see the light.